Saturday, December 19, 2009


Last night Ann and I met daughter Annie and Cedar (5) at Forest Lake. We had pizza and salad for supper. Annie had come to pick up a bunk bed for Cedar. I got a card from Chey and Gene, a magazine featuring Johnny Depp from Annie and a beautiful tiny treasure box from Cedar. The box is in the form of a male peacock with a gem encrusted tail. How good it was to see them again and how heart wrenching to watch them drive away. We haven't been separated so very long but I can feel the loss. Cedar is the river and I am the stone. She flows on while I am caught in the soil. She asked me to go home with them but I told her I would return in the spring. Before she sees her first robin I will be back in the Red Shed. I'll see the family in a few days. They will come on Christmas Day on their way to Melbourne, FL. Then I'll see them again on their return to Deer River. I'll get to talk with Geezis and Justice, too. That's a lot to look forward to. Still, I feel like a red balloon three days after the party.
They say talking about our loved ones is good medicine so I'm talking to you. Silence can be painful. I wonder how Wallis is doing at this time? She hasn't written. I hope she finds a way to celebrate Brandon in memories that will bring tears and laughter, too. It's all good medicine. Brandon would be 21 now. Mae Sarton has written, "What is there to do when people die... people so dear and rare... but bring them back by remembering?" In her journal she tells us, "It cannot be denied that it is these days a very good life for an old raccoon of 70."
Clay S. Jenkinson teaches about buttes on the pages of his book "Message on the Wind". The buttes are the high ground left behind by water and wind. They are the minerals that didn't wash away or blow away. Clay has a lifelong love of the northern plains of ND. "One wants landscape in one's soul and one's soul to dwell in a landscape somewhere." For each of us that would be a different location. Where would you find your soul's landscape? Where would I go for the deep personal healing of spiritual renewal? Under a tree of dreams heavy with fruit!

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