Tuesday, December 15, 2009

THE BRINK OF ETERNITY

Brandon had often come out to the A-frame to split wood but in my notes I have found that my number one boy was there on Dec 17, 2004. In less than a year he would be dead. But that day I wrote, "It's really a lot of fun to spend the day with a gorilla that used to be a boy." He wore me out! He split and I stacked. Eventually he'd put aside the ax and help me catch up to him. I remember a certain splendid moment when I stood admiring a quarter round of oak. He stepped to my side, examined the wood in my hand and said, "It seems a shame too burn it." He touched it with his ungloved fingers, took it from my hand and laid it lovingly on the growing wood stack. Perhaps we stood on the brink of eternity that day. Where nothing is forgotten. Not even a quarter round of oak long ago reduced to ash. But so real before my eyes I know that dragging my finger along it's golden grain will result in splinters too painful to endure.
Besides being an athlete engaged in body-building, football and wrestling, Brandon was a musician. He played drums and guitar. When he was young he danced with the family at pow-wows he also sang at the drum. But like many growing boys he deserted us at about 13. I think he would have returned to the circle when he matured a bit more. We still have parts of his small outfits. I can see him dancing around the drum or leaning over it with a group of singers. He was beautiful. I wish you could see him, too.
Today I didn't walk outside as it seemed too cold. I went to the roof and used the exercise equipment for a few minutes. Walking along the streets is far more interesting. I'd be out on snowshoes if I was at home. I'd be cutting a trail and making it longer as my stamina increased.
My friend Marian M is a Catholic and she sent me a rosary of robin egg blue beads. It has already blessed me with memories of friendship and the beauty of blue beads.
I called Myrna S last night and we had a terrific visit even though she had bad news. Her brother Julius is very sick and not expected to live much longer. She lost her sister Peggy last year. Life is hard. Heavy with loss. Despair covers the sun. But one day we look up and the darkness is gone! It is just as someone has written, "...joy cometh in the morning."

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