PRACTICE JOY

Sept 26. I sit in the flat with my second cup of coffee and watch the leaves turn to gold. Below the tall trees the bright green lawn is littered with the leaves of summer-gone. Just now a tattered leaf has released its grasp and fluttered to the waiting earth.

I wonder if I have come to the place where I must practice joy but spend the rest of my days learning to die.

May S wrote on Sat. 9-25-1982, "The autumn of life is also a matter of saying farewell, but... I do not feel I am saying farewell yet but only beginning again, as it used to be when school started."

Gladys Taber wrote of teaching, "it has to deal with the countries of the mind which are always difficult, unpredictable and illimitable." The poetess Kate Green suggests, "Live out your ecstasy on earth amid the flaking patio stones, the boarded-up back door and the rusty car." From her poem "Don't Make Your Life too Beautiful".

A pain has begun in the left side of my face. It seems my jaw doesn't fit together as it should. After all these years the bones have gone astray.

Sept 27. On Sunday May S had a book signing. "It was exciting to arrive at the lovely old public library in Portsmouth (designed by Bullfinch) and, long before 4 o'clock, see people waiting." How gratifying for her to have loyal fans full of expectation. Eager to see her, hear her read, purchase a book and secure her autograph.

Gladys T had just enjoyed a line storm. "After the storm, the world is polished and shining. The light is so golden, we feel we have never seen the sun before."

Wallis and I off to GR. I dropped stuff at the Thrift Shop and bought a lamp. I also purchased a punch needle and hope to teach Cedar a new craft.