Monday, September 21, 2009

FIRE DREAM

In the dream I had arrived at my home which had been hopelessly damaged by fire. The house was located on a street corner, there was a fair amount of traffic and passers-by. A police man said I could go inside to look for anything I wanted to keep but not to go to the second floor as it was not safe. I asked him how this had happened and he said there would be an arson investigation as two witnesses had seen Buck driving off in his pickup just before the fire. (I don't know anyone named Buck and the neighborhood did not look familiar. Nor did I know the cop.) I entered the charred ruins and saw there was nothing left but piles of ashes. I said, "I had so little and now I have less." My heart was crushing in my chest but I rejected the grief. I told myself, "I will not be held in emotional bondage by a pile of ashes." Through the walls I saw a man hurrying toward the house. He was a small man with a short salt/pepper beard and spectacles. He wore a black Scottish cap, beige jacket, white shirt, navy blue pants and carried a loaf of bread under his left arm. He came into the house, embraced me and put the bread in my hands. Then he quickly left. I thought, "He must be one of Jesus' friends." (I think he was doubtful Thomas.) As I stood surveying the ruins of my life Annie entered with Cedar and Geezis. They gathered close around me. Then Annie climbed the stairs. "Look!" she called. So we all climbed up behind her. Although I could see through the great holes in the floor it did not collapse under us. I could see through the roof, too. The house was no longer on a busy street corner but out in the forest surrounded by beautiful trees. I looked above me and saw about 30 baskets hanging from the rafters. They were a bit charred but still intact. When I opened my eyes I was at Ann's. "This is not my house," I told myself. I wondered about those baskets. Did they contain all that I need for the rest of my journey or would I find them empty. Empty... but ready to be filled with what was vital to complete my life. It was too early to get up so I went back to sleep. Immediately I was in another dream. I could feel something in my left hand so I opened my clenched fist and found an assortment of tools. They were very small but I thought they would be quite useful so I wanted to keep them. I saw a very shiny article among them and examined it closely. It was the eye of a needle. No needle just the eye. It fell fom my fingers to the board floor and rolled into a deep crack. I tried to get it out but none of my tools fit into the crack so I began looking around the room. I discovered I was in the back porch of Mom's old house on Tract 33, Cass Lake. The house is torn down and no more than landfill now. But in the dream it was as it had been when I was in high school. I knew it was a dream and I tried to stay asleep so I could go inside and talk with Mom. But suddenly I was wide awake and feeling quite alone. But I heard someone moving about in the kitchen and got up to find Ann and Kitty ready for breakfast. Soon Dar arrived and the quartet was complete. I said, "The delegates are all here so we will begin the conference to resolve troubles all around the globe."

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